Back to the grind?

Today I’ve yet again started another phase of my fitness phase. Yes, I said again. Yes, I know I start a new one every other week. Or more accurately I start over every other week. I swear I fall off the wagon more than anyone I know. I just comfort myself with the fact that I actually do indeed get back on. I don’t let myself get too far out of hand.

It brings me to the question I ask myself all the time. Why can’t I stay consistent? Why can I not eat healthy and work out daily like I use too? Sure, before I had a considerable amount of weight to lose. Yes, some may not know but I did lose 50 lbs. I started working my butt off, literally 3 years ago and it took me a good year, three rounds of P90X, Insanity, Brazil Butt Lift, boxing, running and walking, clean and healthy eating and tons and tons of hours of blood, sweat, and so many tears. Yes, I cried numerous times when I felt like I was stuck. It was truly the most emotional time of my life. So why can’t I now? I have to say I must not want it enough.

Now, however, I would like to lose some body fat, mostly in my lower ab area, imagine that, and build some muscle. To do that I need to eat clean and healthy and stay away from junk food while still eating enough to feed muscles. My weaknesses, tootsie rolls, winter green life savers, tacos, popcorn, and other stuff that won’t get me where I want to be. My breathing, which use to be amazing, now sounds like I’m panting like a dog when I do cardio. What happened to me?

Life, that is what happened. My husband had surgery and we spent a week out of town. That is enough to throw everything off. Stress, exhaustions, getting a second job. I have so many “excuses” I could go on and on but when it comes right down to it, excuses are all they are.

So now I’m back at it. So I say, I hope this time I’m a little less inconsistent and finally able to stick with it. So what will I do you ask? I’m going to work like hell and eat like a champ and lean out, build up, and finally, and I mean finally, start my summer off where I want to be.

I started today T25. I’m going to be lifting weights with that too. Not this week, I’ve over worked my bicep somehow and caused a little pain but as soon as it heals I’m adding body beast or pump to this. I’m hoping a week of T25 is all it will take before I’m ready to hit the weights again because that is where my passion is. I love the feeling of lifting a heavy weight up and putting it back down. I love the burn of a worn out muscle. Man, when I see that shiny hard steel, my fingers itch to grab it. So This week we start with fat burning and work on cardio and hopefully in the near future we add in doubles with lifting.

The good news, I get to eat more! The bad news, I have to eat more! Do you know how much healthy food it takes to truly get enough calories to build muscle while not gaining fat? I’ll give ya hint, its a lot! And it’s not just eating healthy or clean. You have to make sure you have enough protein and enough carbs and enough fat. Yes, I said fat. Eating healthy fat is so very important in building muscles and weight loss so of course, I’ll have to start logging my food again. Pre-cooking and packing my meals. Man, I’m getting exhausted just thinking about it.

But it’s where I am. Hopefully, I have a few friends that will keep me motivated along the way. I need to stay positive. I need to stay focused and I need to stay with it. Whatever else happens, this is what I want.

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