I can’t tell you how many days I’ve sat and thought what am I doing with my life right now. What have I accomplished. It is the end of the year and I am no more successful in any aspect of my life as I was a year from now when I contemplated the same thing. I’ve never been that person to wait for a monday or wait for a new year to take the next big step or jump into a project but here lately I’ve not been the kind of person who jumps in at all. In the last few weeks with the end of the year rushing up on us I have been feeling pretty dang lost as to what I should be doing. I must admit, it has been a pretty depressing time feeling like nothing has gone as planned.
Then my son comes in and sits down next to me and we have a conversation about his friends and his girl friend and he talks to me about what he did the night before with his buddies and it makes me smile. My step daughter who has lived with us for the last few years is out of town with her friend and I get random text messages from her telling me about her latest treasure she purchased. All my grown children keep me in the loop. I open snapchat to find a picture of my oldest son and his beautiful baby girl smiling at me saying hi and all the feelings of depression and failure melts away instantly. This last year I may not have lost any weight, I may not have stayed up on that personal developement reading I promised myself, and I may not have written that book I once thought I would but I’ve got a wonderful family who I couldn’t be more proud of. If I really thought about where my energy went this last year there is my answer.
Back to those feelings of failure. I know you know exactly how I feel. How many times have you sat at work or behind your computer just waiting for the right thing to spring from your finger tips only to have nothing. I started a new job exactly two months ago and I have to admit there are days I sit and wonder if this is really the profession for me. There are days I put forth full effort only to leave with nothing more accomplished and think to myself why do I bother. I left a completely established and well known business to join one that no one has ever heard of so I could be on the ground floor of something amazing. Do I believe I made the right choice? I do. Am I glad I made the change? I am. Has it been easy? Not even a little. Do I want to give up at the end of some days? Probably more often than not. It is the days I want to give up that I need to sit down and put it all into perspective. I cannot compare today to the day three months ago when I worked for that fully established business and expect it to be better. However, if I take today and compare it to last week, or last month, I see progress. Every week I see good happening around me. Some things directly effect me and other things directly effect the business I have chosen to join. In the end, the success of the business is my success. Hard work, every single day, by everyone will get us taking those baby steps and even little baby steps, little changes, is progress. Progress is success. Maybe we aren’t where we want to be. It won’t happen over night. It will happen though. We work too hard for it not too.
That brings me to myself. I cannot fully support my family and be successful at my career if I am neglecting myself. I’ve also taken a few baby steps to get back on the ball to making it happen. I won’t go into details again but in 2018 you can find me writing more, taking care of my body by exercising more, and feeding my mind with some good quality personal developement. I’m not going to go full on beast mode at everything in my life because lets face it. I don’t have the energy and I’m not going to keep setting myself up to fail. Baby steps it is for me. Baby steps are progress too.
I’m excited about this new year. Not because of this new year, new me crap people talk about but because I’m ready to be me again. Stick around a watch if you want and if you don’t, that is okay too.